November 20th 2013
It’s raining outside, since early morning. It never stopped. It was like the earth crying over something. I was trying to sleep, it’s 00.30 AM. The beep sounds that coming from the intensive care unit were somehow like make a melody with the raindrops outside.
Then, I fell asleep.
I have no dreams and suddenly waking up at 04.00 AM cause something was fallen. I saw my friend was get that thing and put it in the same place, then we’re going to sleep again.
It’s like regular day. I woke up at 6 AM and finished to follow up all the patients at 7 AM. Then, I saw that message, that shocking message. I can’t believe if that’s true. I’m trying to find the facts but it keeps telling that’s all true.
Today is not a regular day. Today was a sad day, for me and maybe for you, if you know him.
I met him in Neurosurgery Department for the first time. He’s really nice. My team and me were really not that close to him but he over us breads for breakfast. He must know that we should come here at 6 AM and finished to follow up the patients. I thought he was a neurosurgeon residence from Surabaya cause I never saw him and that day was like my 5th week in Surgery.
Involuntary, my friend told me about him. My friend said that he’s someone that very responsible to his patients and it relates to his own personality, he must make a good boyfriend. My friend said I should date him. Oh my god, I just met him today, my friend must be insane.
I never try to date him even I’m single that time, really.
He’s very funny, sometime he’s hasty, but overall he’s a very nice guy.
I still remember when the first time I followed him for tracheostomy. I helped him to prepare everything. That day was after a big visit from all the supervisors. So we’re wearing the matching white outfit. The nurses at ICU were like, “Oh my, you were making a good couple, so cute, wearing a matching white outfit”. We were looking at each other and laughing. I even don’t know about him at all. I’m just curious to see the tracheostomy.
Then he told me about he’s also never did it even saw the procedure for real. He asked me to record the procedure that will done by his senior.
He’s very passionate about learning something new to maintenance his skills. He’s obviously very attractive and helpful. He’s very friendly and everyone on ICU was really care about him and said that he’s very care to his patients. No matter what time, he’ll come to see the patients if the nurses said his patients were in bad condition.
I know, he’s one in a million.
And then coming another tracheostomy and I was there also for helping him. And also help him to see his senior’s patients in VIP.
And others always making jokes about us. But, he’s never flirt at all. He’s like my friend. He’s just nice to everyone else. Oh yeah. He’s a fanboy. An apple lover. We’re always discuss about that. Yeah, i still remember he read Steve Jobs autobiografy also.
Even after I finished my Neurosurgery Department, he also helped me about my exam or others. He also told me about his long period relationship with his girlfriend, his koas time, how hard being a residence but he never complains and enjoyed it.
Even after I finished my Surgery Department. We often met in UGD and he’s always offer me to do hecting. He will call my name from the operator and wave his hand and shout “DIRAAAAA!” with his puppy smile, very cute and handsome. He’s like my same age friend. He’s not acted like a residence or senior of mine. And like I said, he did the same to others.
The last time I saw him. It’s in UGD. Like any regular day I met him. He’s coming to me and said “Yuk hecting!” Then I laughed cause I was in Neurology Department that time. I think It’s Saturday, the last day before I’m going to Singaraja for jejaring. I told him that and he’s passionately told me about how many things you will learn there and studying Neuro was really not into him.
Yeah, I still remember those moments…
I wish you know, Doc. That everyone here loved you. I will always remember you as a great doctor with a good heart. This is so suddenly, and you were too good. You will make a great surgeon, I believe. There must be a reason why I met you. Why we met you. I’ve learned many things from you and thank you for making my times in Surgery Department very cheerful. We’re all sad I know, even me or my friend who’s not really that close to you, and know you for sometimes, we’re all really sad. Cause you were really made such a good memoirs. You were such a charming, loveable, responsible, even hasty sometime, but warmth doctor. We’re all (koas) loved you here, Doc. And I wish that your the one, family, friends, fiancée, will be strong enough to let you go. You’re helpful, aren’t you. I know that you’ll help them from above. To stay strong and move on later.
May you rest in peace, with all of your big dreams.
Thanks for the memories. Thanks for being such a good friend to us. Thanks for all the tentiran. Thank you. Thank you very much.
In memoriam of dr. AA Dananjaya, A great doctor with a good heart.
I know I complain about being single all the time. All that “pick me, choose me, love me” kind of crap. But honestly, deep down, I kind of like it. I like being free and independent. I like not having to constantly check in with a boyfriend. I like living my life the way I want to. I like that I…
Yeah! I felt the same! I know it’s gonna be tough but it’s gonna be more awesomeeee! Yay!
I’m not strong but I’m sure I can face it..
I cried all night but I’m sure it’s worth it..
I’m being stupid for a while but I’m sure I will find my clarity..
I was in love and get my heart broken but I’m sure I’ll get stronger..
I made mistakes but I’m sure it’s reasonable..
I am just a young, stupid, foolish girl that always believe a boy’s sweet talk and follow her heart, that can’t deny those butterflies sucked her heart and mind.
It was there. That feeling. It’s real. I know. But, it can’t be forever.
Nothing last forever. Good or bad times.
It’s okay to be sad for a few nights yet it won’t last forever too.
I am for sure. cry because it’s over. But, I have more good memories though.
Sometimes it hurts, but most of time, it made me smile because it’s happened. No regret since beginning.
I will survive.
Maybe what I need the most is… rest. Focus on things that I can change.
I’m sure I will miss those butterflies but I’m not ready yet to feel this pain again.
I will get stronger after this. Thanks to you.